EMERGENCY helpline

Safety Plan

Is your relationship healthy or unhealthy

Are your relationships healthy?

Do you …

  • Have fun together?
  • Each enjoy spending time separately?
  • Always feel safe with each other?
  • Trust each other?
  • Stay faithful to each other if you have made this commitment?
  • Support each others individual goals in life?
  • Respect each others opinions, even when they are different?
  • Solve conflicts without putting each other down?
  • Both accept responsibility for your actions?
  • Both apologise when you are wrong?
  • Have equal decision-making power?
  • Each control your own money?
  • Act proud to be with each other?
  • Encourage each other’s interests?
  • Have some privacy?
  • Have close friends and family who like the other person and are happy about your relationship?
  • Never feel like you are being pressured for sex?
  • Allow each other space when you need it?
  • Always treat each other with respect?

Are your relationships healthy?

Is one of you …

  • Extremely jealous?
  • Accusing the other of cheating?
  • Putting the other one down?
  • Making the other feel bad about themselves?
  • Making the other feel like a child?
  • Not taking you or things that matter to you seriously?
  • Not listening when the other one talks?
  • Frequently criticizing friends or family?
  • Pressurising the other person for sex?
  • Hurts, Humiliates and embarrasses the other?
  • Cheating?
  • Telling you how to dress?
  • Ever grabbed, pushed, hit or physically hurt you?
  • Blaming others for their behaviour?
  • Destroying the other persons possessions?
  • Preventing education or job success?
  • Making all the decisions?
  • Breaking promises?
  • Controlling or very possessive?
  • Withholding affection?
  • Using alcohol or drugs as an excuse for bad behaviour?

Are you in Immediate Danger?

  • If you are on this website because you feel you are in immediate danger, there are several steps you can take to ensure your safety:
  • If possible, remove yourself from the situation immediately.
  • Call your local Garda Station, or if it's an emergency, dial 999 or 112.
  • Reach out to the Women’s Aid National Freephone Helpline at 1800 341 900. This helpline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
  • Get in touch with your local refuge and support services.
  • Contact someone you trust for assistance.

List of Services

Cuanlee Refuge

Crisis Accomodation, 24 Hour Help-line , Child-Adolescent
Services, Outreach Social Work, Domestic Abuse Workshops,
Court Accompaniment & Preparation Service, Safety PlanningCrisis Accomodation, 24 Hour Help-line , Child-Adolescent
Services, Outreach Social Work, Domestic Abuse Workshops,
Court Accompaniment & Preparation Service, Safety Planning

Helpline Number: 021-4277698

Helpline Opening Hours: 24 hours, 7 days per week

Address: Cuanlee Refuge Kyrls Quay Cork City T12 HK74

Email: info@cuanleerefuge.org;

OSS Cork

Helpline, Safety Planning, Financial, Housing, Legal, Health and Other Information, Advocacy and Accompaniment, One to One support

Helpline Number: 1800 497 497

Helpline Opening Hours: Monday to Friday: 9am to 5pm

Address: 94 South Main Street Cork

Office Number: 021 4222979

Email: osscork@gmail.com;

Ensuring Your Safety While Preparing to Leave

If you’re getting ready to leave your home or find yourself needing to leave unexpectedly, thinking through your plans can help you feel more empowered.

  • Determine Your Destination and Departure Time: Decide where you will go and when you plan to leave.
  • Save Important Contacts: Memorise or save emergency phone numbers for quick access.
  • Create a Financial Safety Net: If possible, open a savings account in your name to ensure you have funds available when you leave.
  • Prepare Essentials with a Trusted Friend: Leave cash, spare keys, copies of vital documents, and some clothing with someone you trust.
  • Identify Supportive Contacts: Recognise who among your friends or family can offer refuge for you and your children or lend you financial assistance if necessary.
  • Consider Speaking with Your Children: If your children are old enough to understand, you might want to inform them that leaving home could be a possibility in the future. Make sure they know this information should remain confidential.
  • Reassure Your Children: If you choose to tell them, explain that you have a plan to keep them safe and emphasize the importance of following your instructions when it comes time to leave.
  • Plan an Escape Route: Establish a route for escaping and teach it to your children.
  • Establish a Code Word: Agree on a code word that will signal to your children that it’s time to leave immediately.
  • Prepare Their Belongings Silently: If you decide to keep your plans a secret from your children, make sure to have their belongings packed and ready for when the time comes to leave

What to Pack:

Don’t be concerned if you’re unable to bring anything with you; the priority is your safety. You can always arrange to retrieve essential documents and belongings later. However, if you do have some time to prepare, consider taking the following items as applicable:

  • Money
  • Clothing
  • Identification: Driver’s license, passport, and birth certificates for you and your children
  • Medication
  • Credit and debit cards
  • Keys: Car, home, and office keys
  • Important Contacts: Phone numbers essential for your support network
  • Sentimental Items: Photos, cherished books, and your children’s favourite toys or blankets
  • Important Documents:
  • Any documents related to the abuse (Garda reports, Court Orders)
  • Health insurance information
  • Social welfare documents
  • School and medical records
  • Welfare IDs or work permits
  • Housing documents: lease agreements, property deeds, or mortgage statements
  • Financial records
  • Marriage license
  • Custody papers
  • Immigration documents
  • Taking these items can help ease your transition and provide you with some necessary support and comfort during a challenging time.

Staying safe if you are threatened or attacked:

If you are at home and are threatened or attacked:



  • Get out, if you can
  • If you cannot get out, try to go to a lower risk area of the house
  • Get to a room with a phone or carry a mobile with you
  • Try to avoid going into high-risk places like the kitchen and garage where there are potential weapons
  • Try to avoid rooms with small areas like closets or crawl-spaces where you can be trapped. You may be able to stay away from rooms without windows
  • Try to alert your friends, family, or a neighbour that you’re in trouble and need help
  • Call the Gardaí 999/112 when you can. Call the 24hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900 or use our Instant Messaging Service online

Staying safe in your own home or new home after separating
from your abuser:

Ending an abusive relationship does not always mean that the abuse stops. Many women are abused by their ex-partners so you might need to take steps to keep safe, including:


  • Talk to Mna Feasa or your local Domestic Violence Service about post separation planning
  • Ask the Gardaí for home security advice
  • Get a ring video doorbell camera.
  • Depending on the level of risk, consider changing the locks on all doors, putting locks on windows and installing CCTV
  • Install lights at the front and back doors that come on automatically as someone approaches.
  • Think about possible escape routes
  • Tell the Gardaí about any Court orders you have in place
  • Cancel shared credit or debit cards
  • Open a new bank account in your name only
  • Change passwords to any online accounts including your social media pages

Domestic Violence Leave:

Domestic Violence Leave: The Work Life Balance and Miscellaneous Provisions Act 2023 (“the Act”) was enacted on 04 April 2023. Section 7 of the Act introduces domestic violence leave. The entitlement to domestic violence leave of 5 paid days in a 12-month period came into operation on 27 November 2023.

Taking domestic violence leave:

  • An employee is entitled to take up to 5 days paid domestic violence leave in any 12-month period. The leave cannot be taken in periods of less than one day. Depending on the employer and the contract of employment, an employee may be able to take more than this. The purpose of the leave is to assist the employee or the relevant person; to relocate or to seek medical attention; to obtain counselling; to obtain victims services; to obtain a court order; to seek legal assistance or assistance from An Garda Síochána.
  • An employee must tell their employer as soon as possible that they need to take domestic violence leave, but no notice period is required as the need to take domestic violence leave may not be foreseeable. Immediately on their return to work, the employee must confirm in writing to their employer the date of commencement and duration of the leave. This confirmation should be signed by the employee. No statement of facts in relation to the leave is required.
  • An employer must acknowledge the confirmation but may not request further information regarding the facts surrounding the taking of the leave.
  • Rate of Pay
  • An employee is entitled to be paid by their employer while on statutory domestic violence leave. The Parental Leave Act 1998 (Section 13AA) (Prescribed Daily Rate of Domestic Violence Leave Pay) Regulations 2023, set out the prescribed daily rate of pay payable to an employee who needs to take time off because of domestic abuse. This is effectively the employee’s normal daily rate of pay.
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