My partner has never hit me but calls me names; is this abuse?
In Mná Feasa we say “You don’t need a bruise to be abused,” because most of the women we work with may never experience physical abuse.
Mental, emotional and financial abuse is very hard for anyone outside the relationship to see. This includes coercive control.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is a crime. it is the very heart of domestic abuse. It is a persistent and deliberate pattern of behaviour by an abuser over a prolonged period of time designed to achieve obedience and create fear.
It may include coercion, threats, stalking, intimidation, isolation, degradation and control. It may also include physical and/or sexual violence.
Some Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship:
Does your partner . . . . . .
- Act in an extremely jealous way and accuse you of cheating
- Put you down, not listen to you, hurt, humiliate and embarrass you
- Not take you or things that matter to you seriously
- Frequently criticise your friends or family
- Pressurise you for sex
- Cheat on you or tell you how to dress
- Ever grab, push, hit or physically hurt you
- Blame others for their own behaviour and destroy your possessions
- Prevent your education or job success
- Make all the decisions or break promises
- Control you or act very possessively
- Withhold affection
- Use alcohol or drugs as an excuse for bad behaviour
Some Warning Signs of an Abusive On-Line Relationship:
A healthy on-line relationship needs the same ingredients all healthy relationships need; communication, trust and boundaries.
Does your partner . . . . . .
- Coerce you into sending explicit pictures of yourself
- Coerce you into sexting with them when you don’t want to
- Demand your password to your social media accounts
- Threaten to post or actually post humiliating or private information about you on-line
- Demand long video sessions, so that they can keep tabs on you
- Look through your phone frequently, check up on your pictures, texts and outgoing calls
- Uses technology, such as spyware or a GPS tracking device, on your phone or in your car to track your whereabouts
- Tell you who you can and cannot be friends with on Facebook and other social media sites
- Make you feel afraid and anxious about leaving your phone down, in case they try to contact you
